Disperso.

Y de nuevo frente al ordenata, intentando que el tiempo invertido me resulte provechoso. Estudiando, o intentando estudiar.


Sigo sin concentrarme, ando más difuso que una pizca de sal en agua caliente.


¿Cómo poder hacerlo, sabiendo que te hallas al otro lado de la pantalla, como Dorothy Gale?


Y no dispongo de humos o espejos para conjurarte.


Despondent like it does not even seem possible, wandering here and there, seeking you seeking me and despairing that it will not happen, that a curtain stretching beyond the span of our lifetimes has been erected.


I do not (can not) know what happened. I can and do guess, all right. The eons of any hour of any of my vigils suffice for millions of possible/probable scenarios. each night provides one more.


Sonnets and tanka, all seem so far gone. Logic, when did I ever have anything to do with it?


There are times I curse myself for fifteen thousand kinds of fool (and then some), does it surprise you? I guess not, and on that we would both be right.


And, even now, in the shared silence of the library, I bite the insides of my cheeks, I clench myself to avoid screaming your name as though you were in the building and could answer.


How small I feel, how impossible. I would only ask one thing. Please look after the part of me that went with you on your travels, I hope it does bring you a smile in difficult moments.


And if it does not, you can always come back for more.


Always.


Amor amici tui ipsum est.